Installment Two-

Alternative Universe Theater presents……..Pitch Black (in color!)

  This week’s episode:  “The Monsters Attack!!”

  Author’s note:  yes, I did installment two.  Due to MST 3K, I’ve been flashing back to “Lost Continent”.  For those of you who have seen this little gem, do not worry, I will NOT include any rock-climbing scenes.  Based on prior comments, I think Owens should have the Bronx accent and wear a funny hat.  He can be the monkey to Captain Miller’s Captain Kirk.  Enjoy!!

---------------------------------------------

                    NARATOR:  Last week, we left our brave space explorers trapped on a dangerous planet.  The planet’s suns have been eclipsed, giant monsters are lurking close and a dangerous convict has escaped into the jungle.  Will our intrepid explorers survive this hostile planet? (DUH DUH DUH) 

  …………………….

  (Jack is pointing up to the sky)

  JACK:  What is that?

  (The rest of the group looks up and see puppets of terydactls shaking on strings.)

  CAPTAIN:  Everyone stay close to the fire.  We’ll be fine.

  (Suddenly, the bushes near their encampment start to shake.  Captain Miller places himself in front of the women and Jack, who look frightened.  Imam stands off to one side.  Captain Miller raises his gun as a white man and some “natives” step out into the open.  The “natives” are really white people wearing black wigs.)

  WHITE MAN:  Pleased to make your acquaintance.  Allow me to introduce myself.  Paris P. Ogilvie.  Antiquities dealer.  Entrepreneur.

  CAPTAIN:  I’m Captain Thom Miller.  Our space ship crashed on this planet.  We’ve been having a rough time.  A huge monster ate one of our passengers.

  PARIS:  Yes, well, you just have to be careful.  There’s lots of monsters on this planet.

  CAPTAIN:  We also have a dangerous criminal on the loose.  We have two men tracking him down right now.

  PARIS:  Would you care to join us back at the village?  The natives are really friendly and most likely would serve a feast in your honor.

  CAPTAIN:  We’d be delighted.  There’s not much out here for us to survive on except a couple of bottles of cognac that we were able to salvage from the crash.

  PARIS:  Yes, well it’s amazing how you can do without the necessities in life provided you have the little luxuries.  Follow me.

  (Everyone follows Paris and the “natives”.  Sorry, there’s very few lines for the supporting cast.  The main man always gets the most.  Maybe Carolyn will get to say something in the next scene).

  Monsters: rubber suits with zippers; women cowering against the wall screaming, men come to save them with guns

Back to Menu