HARM NONE: Chapter One-
"My recommendation do me. Don't take the chance I'll get shiv-happy on yo wannabe ass. Ghost me muthafucka. That's what I'm gonna do to you."
"Dammit Harm, turn that shit down!" Stefan screamed over the blaring tv. He knew that Harm loved that part of the movie so he had refrained from screaming at her before Riddick had said his lines. Even though it was torturing his ears.
"Dammit man, why you gotta bother me at such a delicate time?"
"Delicate my ass. You say that shit in your sleep. Get it through your hard head, Harm. There is no Richard Riddick. He is just a character made up by some psycho sci-fi addict. then played by some big bad ass movie star. It's that Oil dude..."
"Diesel. Not oil. Diesel. Vin Diesel."
"Who the fuck gives a damn. Your obsessed with him."
"I may be obsessed with Vin but its Riddick I want."
Stefan gave a deep sigh to calm his nerves. He knew that his sister was just bored with life. She was using the fantasy of being with Riddick to make her feel better but Stefan knew she needed more. He just wished he could give her more.
"So Harm, you come upon some unnatural phenomenon that will give you one thing that you want. What is it?"
Stefan watched the smile creep across Harm's face and then she got a dazed faraway look and he knew she didn't have to give this question any thought. She had already thought about it. "I would want the one thing I've always wanted. To fall in love. Not with just any man. Someone special. Someone totally not like any other man."
"Someone like Richard Riddick." Stefan said not as a question.
"Exactly." Harm said in her best Riddick impersonation of the part where he says it to Jack. Stefan walked over to his baby sister and put his arms around her.
"Ah Harm, ya know I love ya. I ain't no Richard Riddick but I love ya."
"I know." Harm said putting her arms around Stefan. "I love you too."
"But I also know what you want. That's why you need a date."
"You got Riddick's number?" Harm looked up smiling into her brothers exasperated face. Then his expression changed and Harm knew what he was planning on doing. "No, Stefan, please no. Don't" That was Stefan's cue. He started running after a screaming Harm. Once he caught up to her he started tickling her.
"Richard B. Riddick can kiss my skinny white boy ass. Your my girl."