You think a man can spend half his life.
...in the slam and not come away changed? Hmmmmm...
----------------------
Fry pushed the needle under her bunion and injected the clear fluid.
"Who are you really, Fry?"
It was Johns. She hadn't heard him come in.
"I looked through your things, "Johns continued. "Those G-strings, pasties, sparkly makeup…you're not really a captain, are you?"
"I never said I was, Johns."
"No, you didn't." Johns examined Fry's drug paraphernalia.
"Is it a problem?" Fry asked.
"It BECOMES a problem when you let Owens die so sadly! If you had all that…stuff…stashed you could have at least put on a little show, made his final moments happier."
"That post was driven right through his aorta. You wanted me to get his heart racing at that time? His libido was already dead, he just didn't know it yet."
Johns made his way to the exit.
"You nauseate me, Fry. Every day I'll have to remember how you let him die like that."
"Boy, two sunrises each 24 hours for you to be disgusted …..weren't you born unlucky."
Johns left Fry leaning against the bulkhead, her eyes closed as the rush hit. As Johns exited the ship he spotted Riddick seated alongside the hull, shaving with diesel-grease.
"I thought I told you no sharp objects," Johns said.
"This?" Riddick asked, holding his Lady Bic up for inspection. "This is just a personal grooming device."
Riddick proceeded to shave his right calf with one long, luxurious stroke.
"What the hell happened to you in the slam, Riddick?"
"You think a guy can spend half his life locked up in a maximum security prison with a bunch of buff, beefy men and not believe in God?"
"Maybe RiDDiCk was right about you." [radhafan note: see post 540 if you don't remember RiDDiCk.]
Paris Ogilvie strode around the crashed ship, blowgun at the ready. Following in his wake was Jack, eyeglasses from the ground outside the coring room perched on his nose, a straw between his lips. Riddick looked at Jack, his eyes widening.
"The winner of the lookalike contest," Riddick said.
Johns just shook his head.
"Kill anything for our dinner, Ogilvie?" Johns asked.
"Nothing of note."
"Actually…," Jack interjected, "Paris did spot something crawling along the crash trail. Killed it with a dart from 200 yards away! Awesome!"
"What was it?" Johns asked.
"Oh, nothing," Paris replied. "Another survivor."
"Another survivor? How could you do that, Paris?"
"It was pblover," Paris replied.
"Oh, okay."
Riddick produced a bottle from his knapsack and twisted open the top, but before he could take a drink the bottle was snatched from his hand by Paris.
"That's a particularly sweet drop," Riddick said, eyeing Paris nervously. "YooHoo, 2045."
Paris leaned his head back and downed the whole chocolaty thing in one long gulp.
"By all means…help yourself," Riddick said, pained.
Footsteps echoed metallicly from inside the craft and Fry emerged, shielding her eyes from the light.
"DAMN!" she said. "My vision is going! Now I'm seeing a friggin' BLUE sun. I'm going back inside; call me if you need me."
Iman passed Fry, coming out as she went back inside.
"What's up, padre?" Johns asked him.
"Three days of prayer and still no water, but at last my boys and I received a message from Allah."
"What did he say?" Riddick asked.
"Allah said, 'El Imam, I don't mind putting some water on this planet for you to find but do me a favor, meet me halfway……get off your holy tush and at least GO OUT AND FREAKIN' LOOK FOR IT!' It was a sign from heaven."
"Amen," Riddick said, bowing his head.
"Fuckin right!" Paris added, echoed by a "Fuckin right" from Jack.
"Watch your mouth!" Ali scolded Jack.
Suddenly, Jack looked into the sky behind Ali and recoiled in horror. He pointed.
"LOOK OUT, ALI! It's an alien!!"
Ali dropped to the ground, quickly drawing himself into a fetal position. Jack and Paris burst out laughing.
"That's not funny, Jack," Johns said, helping a sobbing Ali to his feet.
"You're not afraid of a prank, are you?" Paris asked.
"I am…a little," Riddick said. "You don't live in the slam for half your life and not be afraid of practical jokes."
Paris moved his mouth to reply when his attention was suddenly diverted.
"What are my eyes seeing?" he asked.
Emerging from the darkness inside the ship, accompanied by the strains of music straight out of the Arabian Nights, was…….Fry, dressed in a pink genie costume. She moved to the foot of the gangway and tantalizingly removed a single veil from in front of her face.
"HELLO, MECCA!" Imam exclaimed, dropping to his knees.
Another veil fell.
"There's MY God!" Johns exclaimed, crossing himself.
A third veil. Riddick watched, a look of pure horror crossing his features.
"Gentlemen…I suggest we fleeeeeeeee!"
(to be continued?)